Only by prayer
“Jesus replied, "This kind can be cast out only by prayer." -Mark 9-29 NLT.
I am not a Christian scholar nor am I as knowledgeable as I should be, especially about fasting. However, I have been dealing with some real issues that I need to shake. I’ve prayed about it, I’ve tried fixing it on my own strength and I am failing.
These issues that I am dealing with seem to torment me whenever I allow my mind to wander. Honestly, it stems from hurt and betrayal. Someone hurt me and although I say that I forgive them all I can do is replay the hurt over and over. It hurts so much it causes my knees to buckle.
Thankfully I know that when I am weak he is strong. So, I need God. I need the God that I believe is absolutely real, to come into my situation. Now, I know enough to know that one is not supposed to go bragging about fasting and doing it for people’s attention so by the time this is posted hopefully I will already have some resolution.
MY WHY. Well, first I want to establish that fasting isn’t solely for Christians. Yes, it’s a necessary part of the life of a Christian but many people of diverse backgrounds fast. They fast for weight loss and health. Health is part of the reason I am doing it. Not gonna lie. I want to treat my body better. I want to put better things in it. Also, I lack self-control in many areas. If I want I buy it, eat it, do it, or say it. This lack of self-control and discipline is hurtful not only to me but to my family. This lack of self control shows up in my spending and the way I behave. I want to learn to tell myself no and hold myself back.
But these are not the main reasons. Do you know something I learned? I learned that you can’t move away from your spiritual issues. Crazy right? I moved across the world to a whole new country and these things came right with me. The anger, distrust, lack of self control etc. They might as well have been packed with my housing and home goods because here I am in a new country, half way around the world and my biggest issues are internal.
I am praying for peace, I want peace in my marriage and family. I am tired of fighting the same issues day after day. The same petty arguments, the same conflict. I’ve read books on family and marriage, I’ve watched sermons, attended women’s groups. However, the same issues arise. I have decided I am not going to be passive about my family and my marriage. We are worth fighting for. Let me say that louder for the people in the back WE ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR but the weapons of our warfare are not carnal. They are mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;….” II Corinthians 10:4
· I am praying for a change in appetite, not necessarily in the physical sense, but a change in desire. I want to desire things that are of God. I want to look first to him when I am stressed. I am praying to break old habits and patterns of behavior.
· I want to be a Godly mother and raise amazing children. I want them to KNOW I prayed for them. I want them to know to pray for themselves. I want my husband’s foundation to be in God. That way I know when I need something to hold on to, he is rooted in something deeper than me. S5r
· I want to stop comparing myself and my progress with others. I want to know MY portion is enough, I am enough.
· I want my friends to know I will pray for them. Or with them.
· I want a whole God intervention. I want him to take over in my life!
So.. I guess that’s why I am doing it. I know that it is more than just pushing the plate away. During this period I am also going to be intentional on what enters through my mind. I want my focus to be specific. I believe there’s power and I am fully expecting a change.
Ok. So my last post was about fasting and I have now completed it and I want to touch on a few things.
1. In the past I wouldn’t tell anyone if I was fasting because churches would really drill it in that you aren’t to go bragging and that it id for God’s glory no one elses. This caused a complete lack of accountability. I wouldn’t even tell my husband when I fasted. I would do it alone and I would fail. This time my husband knew when I was in it and when I felt that I would break it he was there to encourage me and remind me why I wanted to do this. So I learned that for me, accountability is super important when fasting.
2. I was hungry. Some people make it seem like this is so easy but the struggle was real for me. It was also difficult having to cook and fix meals for my kids without eating. With this I was sometimes hangry and I had to check my attitude. However maybe that is part of it. Maybe I needed to learn to check my hanger.
3. When I did feel hangry or just plain hungry I would listen to gospel music and sermons.
4. If its not something you practice in your Christian walk DO IT. Pray first, but don’t wait for a sign to fast. The bible tells you to do it, that should be enough of a sign.
When I was done , before I ate I ended in praise and worship. I thanked God even for the strength to do this. I do believe that my prayers were answered.