The assembly of the church
Excuse me while I write this out, I don’t have an outline so I’m writing as the thoughts come and I’m doing my best to organize it as I go.
I have had the most interesting time being a Christian. I love God, I do. However if it were not for Hebrew 10:25 I would not go to church. I get it when people say they’ve been hurt by the church and when they give a million reasons not to go. None of these reasons have ever been strong enough for me to quit the faith that I know is real. None of the pains from fellow Christians have been enough for me to ignore the spiritual experiences I KNOW I have had. However, I get it. Trust me I do.
The sad part about it is in many ways I love church. Wait.. like let me phrase this better. I love the assembling of people who all love God, I love hearing solid preaching, I love when God whispers to me and begins to work on my heart, I love corporate prayer and seeing people delivered , I love praise and worship, I love being free to praise and worship, I love the fellowship and activities for families and children. I have a hard time with the people. That’s hard to admit man because I count myself friendly, I’m kind and I try to be approachable. However I could give you some experiences. PLEASE don’t get me started on when I was a single mother at church.
There have been some defining moments in my church life that have caused me to really wonder are these people even Christian? The way I have seen the church justify racism, prejudice, hatred of others, ostracization of single or teen moms it’s crazy. Like do we read the same Bible? I remember a first lady telling me I could not have a baby shower at the church for a friend because she was not married. I remember being told I couldn’t have prayers at my house. I remember being compared to a jezebel for no real reason at all. I remember the way they tried to control and manipulate my husband. I have been snubbed by women at churches, honestly it’s been a lot of pain by the women at churches. I guess I say all this to say ..well have you ever had an injury that didn’t heal properly? Although it was healed it didn’t work properly and it was a sore spot? Well, that’s my relationship with church. Even worse because just regular movement of the injured area causes great pain.
I think churches get too caught up in people’s personalities. I think we as Christians get too caught up in people’s personalities and that is in conflict with the way Jesus did it. The thing is church people have made me question so much about my love and relationship with Christ. Actually, I have felt farthest from God when trying to understand “church procedures”.
Perhaps I am wrong. If so, that’s ok. I’m okay with learning and growing. I’m not okay with being frozen in space because I let people define my growth. God knows my desire is to serve him, not to be perfect. If I am wrong, I have faith that God will correct me because his grace is sufficient. So I guess I say all this to tell those of US who are beginning to lose hope because of what the church says to do it hopeless. Do it alone if you have to, do it without the backing of church people. To be Christian is to be Christ like and isn’t that how Christ did it.